I'm sorry but I'm just gonna start with this. Walcott isn't in the World Cup squad. Fair enough. Shaun Wright-Phillips is?! What the fuck. What. The. Fuck. That's all I have to say on the matter.
Elsewhere in World Cup news, the last few days have seen players dropping like flies. Emile Heskey, not content with being our worst striker, thought it would nice to sit on England's only world-class central defender and captain and snap his knee ligaments. The prospect of Ledley King playing in central defence makes me cringe after seeing him so thoroughly exposed by the flitting trio of Mexico's frontline at Wembley last week. He had twisted blood after that ordeal, and I wonder that despite his excellent ability to read the game, his complete lack of lateral movement might make Carragher the better option at the back. As for Upson, how did West Ham do this season? Exactly. Other absentees are Essien, Nani, Mikel, Ballack and there are doubts over Drogba, Robben, Pirlo, Barry and Iniesta. I just really hope that Arsenal's own porcelain striker RVP manages to not injure himself so Arsenal actually have a chance next season. They would have walked the league with him up top for 38 games.
The same about Upson goes for Rob Green. It makes me jealous when Spain's three goalkeepers are Casillas, Reina and Valdes - ridiculous. Looking at the Spain squad makes me more and more angry. A bench of Fabregas, Pedro, Navas, Martinez, Mata and Reina. A team shouldn't be allowed to be that good. And it is for this reason, of course, that they will not win this tournament. The best sides rarely win the tournament, in recent years the only one coming to mind being Brazil in 2002 who were, to be honest, the only only good team in the tournament. South Korea got to the semis in 2002 for Christ's sake (with, admittedly, a lot of help from FIFA). It seems pretty inevitable to me that Brazil will win this, European sides seem incapable of winning outside their own continent and Brazil have a good combination of an extremely solid defence and an effective and very destructive attacking unit. I know nothing about the German team other than they will inevitably reach at least the semi-finals, purely based on their nationality. Check out their secondary strip. It literally scares the bejeezus out of me. If I had to play against a team wearing those Nazi colours I wouldn't be brave enough to move a toe for fear of being ethnically cleansed. On a side note you may not be surprised to learn that I managed to offend a German girl at a party the other night by suggesting the name "Schweinsteiger", which literally translates as "pig mounter" is somehow hilarious and a bit dirty (and perhaps reflects on German sexual habits), and in a short conversation about Michael Schumacher also implied that all Germans are natural cheats. I concluded that all Germans also have no sense of humour.
Going back to the football, the dark horses are probably Italy, who don't do well when they are expected to and do when they aren't, and outside bets to do well are probably USA and Serbia, and all North Korea can do is exceed expectations because noone seems to know anything about them. Apparently pretty much all their players are actually Japanese but have been recruited for the side by the Dear Leader. Insert joke about well regimented side that plays with minimal individual flair and military precision. The Netherlands will walk the group stage score loads of goals and come unstuck in the second round after they all start bickering. I don't hold out too much hope for Argentina, mainly due to their manager and the fact that a 35 year old Veron is starting in their midfield, and their defence being comprised of 4 centre backs. Maradona does seem to have demonstrated some good managerial knowledge by choosing Palermo's 20 year old playmaker Javier Pastore, who was one of Serie A's consistently brilliant performers last season and ran rings around Cambiasso in their 1-1 draw against Inter. The World Cup and Palermo's late-season surge into 4th place the Champions League will give him the perfect opportunity to demonstrate his quality to a wider audience, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he will be one of the best playmakers in European football within 5 years, along with Aaron Ramsey.
So basically, my predos:
Winner: Brazil
Runner Up: Italy
Surprise packages: Greece, Serbia, North Korea
Disappointments (or in Alan Green vernacular, "disgraces"): Rooney, Messi, England's penalty taking, David James' hairstyles.
Shock Early Exits: France are useless.
Players to watch: Khedira (Germany), Ozil (Germany), Pastore (Argentina), Van der Wiel (Netherlands), Ramires (Brazil), Guardado (Mexico), Nkoulou (Cameroon), Navas (Spain), Luis Suarez (Uruguay)
Golden Boot: van Persie/Luis Fabiano
The Inevitable: England will be knocked out on penalties in the Quarters, Italy will scrape through the Group then suddenly start playing well, none of the African teams will make it past the groups stages, New Zealand will be beaten 8-1 and celebrate their single goal wildly, Rooney will be sent off, Philippe Senderos will have a permanently confused expression on his face, Lucas Neill will be a cunt, Emmanuel Adebayor will talk unintelligibly quickly on the BBC coverage, Alan Hansen will go on about raw pace all the time for no reason, John Motson will make orgasm noises instead of actually commentating, Alan Shearer will horrifically mangle the past tense. Etc.
In other football news, the protracted Cesc Fabregas "saga" continues. Although so far this "saga" petty much seems to be Barca repeatedly releasing statements from various cunts in their organisation saying they will sign Fabregas soon. All this despite only submitting one paltry offer of £29m, only £4m more than they paid for Chygrynskiy (copy+paste ftw, bitches) and having it rightly smashed back in their face immediately. If I were working for Arsenal in some kind of secretarial role, the fax sent back to Camp Nou would almost definitely have had some sort of smelly brown stain on it. FIFA and UEFA of course should get on at Barca for what is blatant and shameless tapping up and deliberate attempts to unsettle him through the media. But no. It's Barca. They won't. All Barcelona's posturing as "mes que un club" looks increasingly hypocritical as what this appears to be is an attempt to use underhanded means to sign a player they don't need for a preposterously undervalued price, all because the departing president (Joan Laporta) wants to glorify his own ego. They play the best football in the world, but the way the big two Spanish clubs conduct themselves in transfer dealings is pretty shit.
Gaming wise I've been playing a hell of a lot of Dragon Age: Origins. It's typical Bioware RPG fare; I didn't think it was that good and then suddenly it was 3am. It sucked me in good and proper and there's a hell of a lot of game there for £20. There are massive graphical flaws and seems quite dated, but the sheer effort put into the depth of the story and dialogue means it is extremely engrossing and very enjoyable.
Laters.
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