The Hyundai/McDonalds/CocaCola FIFA World Cup 2010™, Fabregas rant and a teensy bit of gaming.

I'm sorry but I'm just gonna start with this. Walcott isn't in the World Cup squad. Fair enough. Shaun Wright-Phillips is?! What the fuck. What. The. Fuck. That's all I have to say on the matter.

Elsewhere in World Cup news, the last few days have seen players dropping like flies. Emile Heskey, not content with being our worst striker, thought it would nice to sit on England's only world-class central defender and captain and snap his knee ligaments. The prospect of Ledley King playing in central defence makes me cringe after seeing him so thoroughly exposed by the flitting trio of Mexico's frontline at Wembley last week. He had twisted blood after that ordeal, and I wonder that despite his excellent ability to read the game, his complete lack of lateral movement might make Carragher the better option at the back. As for Upson, how did West Ham do this season? Exactly. Other absentees are Essien, Nani, Mikel, Ballack and there are doubts over Drogba, Robben, Pirlo, Barry and Iniesta. I just really hope that Arsenal's own porcelain striker RVP manages to not injure himself so Arsenal actually have a chance next season. They would have walked the league with him up top for 38 games.

The same about Upson goes for Rob Green. It makes me jealous when Spain's three goalkeepers are Casillas, Reina and Valdes - ridiculous. Looking at the Spain squad makes me more and more angry. A bench of Fabregas, Pedro, Navas, Martinez, Mata and Reina. A team shouldn't be allowed to be that good. And it is for this reason, of course, that they will not win this tournament. The best sides rarely win the tournament, in recent years the only one coming to mind being Brazil in 2002 who were, to be honest, the only only good team in the tournament. South Korea got to the semis in 2002 for Christ's sake (with, admittedly, a lot of help from FIFA). It seems pretty inevitable to me that Brazil will win this, European sides seem incapable of winning outside their own continent and Brazil have a good combination of an extremely solid defence and an effective and very destructive attacking unit. I know nothing about the German team other than they will inevitably reach at least the semi-finals, purely based on their nationality. Check out their secondary strip. It literally scares the bejeezus out of me. If I had to play against a team wearing those Nazi colours I wouldn't be brave enough to move a toe for fear of being ethnically cleansed. On a side note you may not be surprised to learn that I managed to offend a German girl at a party the other night by suggesting the name "Schweinsteiger", which literally translates as "pig mounter" is somehow hilarious and a bit dirty (and perhaps reflects on German sexual habits), and in a short conversation about Michael Schumacher also implied that all Germans are natural cheats. I concluded that all Germans also have no sense of humour.

Going back to the football, the dark horses are probably Italy, who don't do well when they are expected to and do when they aren't, and outside bets to do well are probably USA and Serbia, and all North Korea can do is exceed expectations because noone seems to know anything about them. Apparently pretty much all their players are actually Japanese but have been recruited for the side by the Dear Leader. Insert joke about well regimented side that plays with minimal individual flair and military precision. The Netherlands will walk the group stage score loads of goals and come unstuck in the second round after they all start bickering. I don't hold out too much hope for Argentina, mainly due to their manager and the fact that a 35 year old Veron is starting in their midfield, and their defence being comprised of 4 centre backs. Maradona does seem to have demonstrated some good managerial knowledge by choosing Palermo's 20 year old playmaker Javier Pastore, who was one of Serie A's consistently brilliant performers last season and ran rings around Cambiasso in their 1-1 draw against Inter. The World Cup and Palermo's late-season surge into 4th place the Champions League will give him the perfect opportunity to demonstrate his quality to a wider audience, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he will be one of the best playmakers in European football within 5 years, along with Aaron Ramsey.

So basically, my predos:

Winner: Brazil

Runner Up: Italy

Surprise packages: Greece, Serbia, North Korea

Disappointments (or in Alan Green vernacular, "disgraces"): Rooney, Messi, England's penalty taking, David James' hairstyles.

Shock Early Exits: France are useless.

Players to watch: Khedira (Germany), Ozil (Germany), Pastore (Argentina), Van der Wiel (Netherlands), Ramires (Brazil), Guardado (Mexico), Nkoulou (Cameroon), Navas (Spain), Luis Suarez (Uruguay)

Golden Boot: van Persie/Luis Fabiano

The Inevitable: England will be knocked out on penalties in the Quarters, Italy will scrape through the Group then suddenly start playing well, none of the African teams will make it past the groups stages, New Zealand will be beaten 8-1 and celebrate their single goal wildly, Rooney will be sent off, Philippe Senderos will have a permanently confused expression on his face, Lucas Neill will be a cunt, Emmanuel Adebayor will talk unintelligibly quickly on the BBC coverage, Alan Hansen will go on about raw pace all the time for no reason, John Motson will make orgasm noises instead of actually commentating, Alan Shearer will horrifically mangle the past tense. Etc.

In other football news, the protracted Cesc Fabregas "saga" continues. Although so far this "saga" petty much seems to be Barca repeatedly releasing statements from various cunts in their organisation saying they will sign Fabregas soon. All this despite only submitting one paltry offer of £29m, only £4m more than they paid for Chygrynskiy (copy+paste ftw, bitches) and having it rightly smashed back in their face immediately. If I were working for Arsenal in some kind of secretarial role, the fax sent back to Camp Nou would almost definitely have had some sort of smelly brown stain on it. FIFA and UEFA of course should get on at Barca for what is blatant and shameless tapping up and deliberate attempts to unsettle him through the media. But no. It's Barca. They won't. All Barcelona's posturing as "mes que un club" looks increasingly hypocritical as what this appears to be is an attempt to use underhanded means to sign a player they don't need for a preposterously undervalued price, all because the departing president (Joan Laporta) wants to glorify his own ego. They play the best football in the world, but the way the big two Spanish clubs conduct themselves in transfer dealings is pretty shit.

Gaming wise I've been playing a hell of a lot of Dragon Age: Origins. It's typical Bioware RPG fare; I didn't think it was that good and then suddenly it was 3am. It sucked me in good and proper and there's a hell of a lot of game there for £20. There are massive graphical flaws and seems quite dated, but the sheer effort put into the depth of the story and dialogue means it is extremely engrossing and very enjoyable.

Laters.

So it's been a while...

Yeah I haven't posted for ages. I'm sure you've been going mad, gnawing at your sideboards wondering whether I'm ever going to return. Well, you can stop writing the suicide note and put the pills and wine back in the cupboard. I have my last exam tomorrow and I will be back to my irregularly regular posting schedule.

So I'm going to Hurricane festival in June. I've gone off rock music quite a lot in the last year but you can't sniff at that line up for £100, and hopefully The Strokes won't be a shadow of their former selves after a 4 year hiatus and some mediocre solo stuff. And hopefully they won't just play new stuff. Hopefully they will just play from Is This It, and a couple of songs off of Room on Fire. First Impressions of Earth was so boring. It was even worse than being shit. I would have preferred it to be terrible than middling, overly ironic, unfunny and dull. LCD Soundsystem, Massive Attack, Mr Oizo, The XX, Vampire Weekend and Biffy Clyro are the other main attractions for me, although hopefully just the entire weekend will be a laugh... A possibility heightened by the revelation that pints there cost 1 euro each. Mmm.

Music wise I've been listening to a lot of Crystal Castles, and my resistance to them (fuelled by my inherent distrust for anything on the NME Cool List) has been ended by what is a fantastic second album. I haven't had time to play games, but hopefully I will be seeing wassup with the GTAIV expansions and Red Dead Redemption soon.

Arrivederci

HE IS COMING HE IS COMING

HE IS COMING HE IS COMING HE IS COMING AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Untitled

Well it's that time of year again. Having spent the last 2 weeks excruciatingly wringing out enough coherent thought to write 7000 words worth (see what I did there?) of intelligible prose, I am now confronted with the depressing spectre of my two exams. I know I shouldn't be complaining, but I'm a man of simple pleasures. Mainly I like bacon, sitting down and the odd head scratch. Anything which disturbs this heavenly scene is treated as a rude interruption and must be treated with the utmost disdain and usually misplaced sarcastic comments that, on reflection, don't really make too much sense. Anyway, the point is I don't want to study any more. Having to write about thermodynamics in an essay on American fiction nearly made my increasingly leaky brain collapse in on itself. Fucking Thomas Pynchon and his complex themes of communication theory. Just write a nice story about animals with no complex ideas like Beatrix Potter, or George Orwell before he went got all cerebral and wrote a novel about how everyone in the 80s would speak as if they had stepped from the pages of a shit romance novel and get pissed on gin all the time (again, misplaced sarcastic/facetious remarks are often my downfall).

In other news I managed to watch Kick Ass again. Not really sure how, but I was pretty bored and my flatmate wanted to see it again. It stood up to another viewing pretty well, but this time around I couldn't get it out of my head that the main character was being portrayed by a douche, having found out in the meantime that he's knocked up his 50 year old fiance, and he's 19 and dresses like those cunts in the Topman adverts that have that contrived scruffy-yet-oh-so-cool look that makes me want to punch them in the Adam's apple then tell them to read Das Kapital. It would probably make them more cunty to be honest, they'd become champagne socialists and sit in their Primrose Hill squats with each other reading J.D Salinger and Roland Barthes, waiting for Arthur to return from the latest croissant run to Camden Lock. What a load of imaginary berks.

I also bought some new DLC for Mass Effect 2, it was pretty fun and would recommend getting it for the low low price of 1/6 of the game's initial cost for around 2 extra hours gameplay. It was good, but pretty much a ripoff. At least I get an extra character for those side missions I'm not going to do and 15G to add to the gamerscore that I feel dirty for caring about.

Tomorrow sees Inter travel to Camp Nou (yes Camp Nou, you don't hear Spanish people calling Old Trafford, Trafford Old) and try to hold onto their 3-1 lead to get to the final, which seems like it will essentially be a walk in the park for whoever wins tomorrow. How a team with a defence as shoddy as Bayern's can get to the final is beyond me. They've got Zorro at the back for fuck's sake! Anyway hopefully it will be a decent watch, and I'm watching it at Guy's campus so it should be deserted cos Man United aren't playing. (for those of you who don't know why that's funny, it's because Guy's campus is where everyone who does sciences/medicine has the majority of their classes, and as a result it has a high asian population, and everyone knows that nearly every asian person that exists supports Man United. Check back tomorrow for more racial stereotypes.)

There's some music I want to write about but will do it in a less rage-inflected entry tomorrow or something, I need some sleep.

Home again, Kick Ass and a little bit of music

So I've been at home for a couple of weeks, trying unsuccessfully to crack on with my final 2 essays before my exams start next month. Well, I say "start", but I only have 2. And one if them is predisclosed... in fact I already know the questions. It pays to do a course that isn't a real subject. Until I hit the real world. Which will hopefully not be for many years to come.

Anyway, me and a friend made usage of orange wednesdays and decided to take a trip to the local multiplex to see a film that seems to have kicked up a bit of a fuss amongst the err.. let's say "cuntish" section of the british press. Most of this has revolved around the use of "the c word" by an 11 year old girl (or Hitgirl as her character is called). Its a highly bizarre thing to be worried about considering what the little terror gets up to immediately after channelling the spirit of Derek and Clive - she proceeds to dismember and horrifcially maim and entire room of people with a katana. As far as I was concerned watching the film, it was strange to see such a young character utilised in such a way and it was, momentarily, at least slightly uncomfortable. There's not really too much time for this though as it happens over and over again in various situations throughout the film, deadening the slightly jarring effect it did have in that first memorable scene. What's more bizarre is the music she slaughters these people to - Banana Splits by The Dickies. It's a surreal scene and a surreal film, but a highly enjoyable and funny comic book pastiche Tarantino can only dream of while he's titting about wearing beanie hats and watching Wong Kar-wai films with vaseline and a kleenex within his jittery arms' reach. What a fucktard he is. What was I on about? Oh yeah. Little girls cuttin' headz. Watch it.

Whilst at home I have also managed to expend a stupid amount of money on music. My discovery of Boomkat.com has been both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand I have an easily accessible library of fantastic electronic music... on the other hand they recommend everything that is released, resulting in lack of funds. Anyway, here's a short chart of some of the best stuff I've stumbled across in recent weeks and other shite that's been on rotation:

1. You Got Me by Scuba from Triangulation

2. Sahara Michael by Ikonika from Fish

3. Raga Bhairav by Charanjit Singh from Ten Ragas to a Disco Beat

4. Lagos by Nomad Discotech from Lagos/Fast Food Soul

5. The Only Way Up by Egyptrixx from The Only Way Up

6. Shangrila by Floating Points from Love Me Like This

7. Escape by Johann Johannsson from and in the endless pause there came the sound of bees

8. Detroit Falls by Pariah from Detroit Falls

9. Detroid by dBridge & Instra:mental from Acacia Avenue/Detroid

10. Igloo by Wiley from Avalanche Music 1

11. 444 by Autechre from Incunabula

12. Pickled! by Flying Lotus from Cosmogramma

13. Kobwebz by Gonjasufi from A Sufi And A Killer

Yeah I know Arsenal lost. Fuckoff.

Well look who it is (football, BFBC2 and other little bits)

Well it's been a while hasn't it. Unfotunately (...?) I've been procrastinating less and less these days so this blog has suffered a bit. Anyway, don't fear, I'm back, with more pointless babble that noone will read!

So I just finished watching Bayern Munich play Manchester United. I'm usually apathetic towards Manchester United but have found myself increasingly annoyed at their largely ignorant and arrogant fanbase, and was pretty satisfied when they were, essentially, battered in the Champions League Final last year. The English media loves to hype up Lord Fergie but as far as I can remember United haven't played good attacking football since they were destroyed by Bayern home and away in the 2001 Champions League, and for me that is more important than winning shiny eggcups. The game tonight was brilliant, as Bayern played really good football and probably should have scored a couple more than the 2 they did manage. And with Robben and Schweinsteiger to come back for Bayern and Rooney possibly knacked for a little while, I think they have a decent chance at the Theatre of Bullshit. I mean Dreams, sorry. Although I thought that way about Roma a few years ago, and look what happened there. Tomorrow sees Arsenal play Barcelona at the Emirates. I'm not expecting a positive outcome for Arsenal although I do feel if they play well enough they can definitely match Barca. But they will have to play very very well. And it still might not be good enough.

In other news a few weeks ago now I got Battlefield: Bad Company 2 and it is a really good game. The multiplayer is a lot of fun, a lot better than Modern Warfare 2 as there is always something to do; repairing tanks, destroying tanks, calling in mortar strikes, healing teammates or, if you really want to, shooting people in the face. It's a nice break from COD in which all that matters is the number of times you are shot in the face minus the number of times you shoot other people in the face (otherwise known as kill/death ratio) and the presence of killstreaks makes every death an extremely frustrating experience. Battlefield is a lot more fun with a slower pace, longer matches, bigger maps and fantastic variation. As for the campaign, it seems pretty good so far but I have only played 3 levels and will return to it once I'm bored with the multiplayer. It's not as James Bond-y as MW2 either, and I'm not sure if this is good or bad, because I love sharks with laser beams on their heads. I'm not sure if that joke made sense either, but I do love sharks with laser beams on their heads.

Bioshock 2, Silent Hill 2, MW2 and Plastic Beach

So I finally got around to completing Bioshock 2, and I must say that the game definitely improves in the later levels. In the earlier levels the exploration was just not as interesting as the first game having become accustomed to Rapture's art-deco design, and the more linear, focused final level or two really showed off how improved the game's combat mechanics are in this iteration, and fighting against 2 big sisters at once was just awesome. Although the story was pretty corny I accepted that it just wasn't going to be as good as the first and rolled with it. I actually got a little bit involved at the end and felt a little tug on my heartstrings.

In other game related news I have been playing Silent Hill 2 again and despite the incredible storytelling, terrifying atmosphere, crazy monsters and brilliant sound I don't know how I managed to get through this game the first time without smashing my PS2 controller due to terrible player control and combat. Admittedly this reflects the vulnerability of the player character, but the combat is so frustratingly terrible that it just completely removes me from the gameworld. It could be something to do with playing on the PC this time around, with no pressure sensitive attacks and general awkwardness with having to hold down multiple keys at once, but never have I replayed a game which I thought was mainly flawless within its genre first time around to be so irritated second time round.

I have also been giving MW2 another extended go and have got a lot more into it due to trying game modes other than team deathmatch which I almost exclusively played on COD4 and on other multiplayer shooters. Domination in particular is a lot more fun and I seem to be getting less sucky at it game by game. It would seem that completing the campaign in 5 hours on veteran would prepare you in some way for the brutal multiplayer but when people are racking up 30 days+ of play time and had prestiged within 12 hours of the game's release, I got my monkey ass kicked hard and decided not to try it for a while. I must say it is beginning to win me over though.

Muicwise I've been listening to the new Gorillaz album, Plastic Beach, and it's pretty good. I'm a little underwhelmed by it though and must say I expected more after a 5 years of nothing following Demon Days, which is one of my favourite records. I mean, Bashy is on it for fuck's sake. Still, it is definitely a buy and I'll be getting my copy when it hits stores next week.

peace out

Fuck Ryan Shawcross

In a diversion from my usual (attempted) humourous analyses of cultural minutiae I feel compelled to comment on an extremely important issue regarding my football club of choice, Arsenal (although I hesitate to call myself a supporter due to lack of connections to the club, fuck it I like them and have been living a half mile away from the ground for 6 months now). This entry will, of course, be about Aaron Ramsey's injury and various arguments flying around about treatment of Arsenal players, but also about the general culture of recklessness within British football and its associated media and audience.

I watched the Stoke v Arsenal match live and the injury to Ramsey midway through the second half turned my stomach in a number of ways. First of all it was, needless to say, pretty horrible to see that happen. What was and is infinitely worse is the hysterically idiotic media and fan reaction to this incident. When Arsene Wenger came out to speak to the media at the end of the game and called the challenge "unacceptable" and said that it was "no coincedence" that these types of injuries happen to Arsenal the assorted gaggle of morons who form the mainstream sporting press immediately grabbed the wrong end of the stick and got their knickers in an almighty twist. "He's just not that type of player" harped the self-righteous blowhard of a cunt that is Alan Green on BBC radio 5Live about Ryan Shawcross, as did Stoke manager Tony Pulis who insisted that Wenger was wrong about something that had never been said, saying that "he doesn't know my players and I know Ryan isn't that sort of lad." I suppose he wasn't that sort of lad when he snapped Franny Jeffers' ligaments in 2007 or when he forced Emmanuel Adebayor to miss 8 games after another one of his 'hard but fair' challenges last season. While I am not for one second saying that Shawcross intentionally set out to hurt Ramsey - well, at least not that badly - he does have previous in making reckless and mistimed challenges. Spoony, lord and master of the parade of halfwits that is 5Live's football phone-in 606 added his idiotic 2 cents to the 'debate', questioning Wenger's imaginary statement that Shawcross is a malicious player. Luckily, Gab Marcotti, who provides brief flashes of sanity during an otherwise infuriating programme, instantly pulled him up on this and made a very succinct point: Wenger's point was that if teams are encouraged to play in a physical manner against sides with a higher skill level then to a certain extent injuries such as this are unavoidable. All it takes is for a player who "isn't that type of lad" to become that type of lad for a second and something extremely horrible can occur. It's scant consolation to Ramsey that poor Shawcross was so "distraught" when he is lying in a hospital bed with his leg being held together with steel pins due to this man's second of idiotic recklessness.

The fact that this same injury has happened to Arsenal three times in four years also highlights the susceptibility of Arsenal's style to agricultural opposition. This is not down to Arsenal players being foreign fancy-dans with porcelain limbs who need to grow a set - the way Arsenal retain the ball in midfield is absolutely unique in British football, and their nimble feet and quick minds often render themselves vulnerable against opposition who are less quick and thus try to compensate with excessive force. As seen with injuries to Diaby, Eduardo and now Ramsey, sides who do employ forceful tactics (Sunderland, Birmingham City and Stoke City) - all of which deemed legal by the Football Association and Premier League - will unintentionally inflict bad injuries on better players if they lose concentration for a very short period of time.

In the wider picture this stems from a culture in which these teams are positively encouraged to target certain players (as seen in Porto's rough treatment of Fabregas or Anderson's hilariously awful display of man-marking against Iniesta in the CL final in 2009) or in this case an entire team. The old credo of mid-to-low table ugly northern sides facing Arsenal - "they don't like it up 'em, that bunch of weak-limbed foreigners with their gloves and tiki-taka passing football and their diving. Stop moaning! These things happen!" This culture is encouraged and praised almost universally across the mainstream sports press, as the plucky English underdogs overcome their limitations, fuck the foreigners who actually try to play creatively and intelligently and wear gloves because it's fucking cold. We need look no further than England saviour Wayne Rooney, who never dives, never makes any reckless challenges, never wears gloves for the perfect embodiment of English football. Or perhaps the Scouse Messiah Steven Gerrard, who is "too honest" to dive despite his ridiculous trademark starfish flop and Hypnotoad stare. Or even John Terry, who is prepared to get kicked in the face for club and country but can't keep his penis to himself who now has Craig Bellamy reeling off zingers about his infidelity.

This culture of endorsement of negative tactics against fancy foreigners and blinkered, xenophobic coverage in the press all contribute to the sickening situation that presented itself across fan forums and radio coverage on Saturday night. It was Ramsey's fault for trying to tackle Shawcross. Ramey's leg was broken before Shawcross kicked him. It was a Stoke player who comforted Ramsey not an Arsenal player, all of whom apparently instantly waved imaginary cards at the ref. Nice to hear the Stoke fans singing "cheating, cheating Arsenal" as a 19 year old kid is rushed to hospital with what could have been a career ending injury. "You've only got one leg." Poor Shawcross? Fuck Shawcross. Poor Aaron Ramsey.

Bioshock 2, Caprica and a list of songs

Having returned to London after reading week in my spare time I have been perservering on with Bioshock 2 but my heart really isn't in it. It's still a good game, but I'm completely underwhelmed by the story and can't help the nagging feeling that this game has no reason to exist. It's not sufficiently different from the original in terms of gameplay mechanics to warrant its existence, and I really have no idea what is happening in the messy and clumsily explained story that seems to be about as complex as the first Rush Hour movie. The multiplayer is so laggy and shallow compared to Halo and MW2 that I really don't feel any compulsion to try that out further anyway. Certainly won't be replaying this game and can't see myself getting any of the DLC. After Mass Effect 2's massive improvements this sequel seems a bit of a damp squib. It's still good, I just don't care. It exists because it will make money. Oh well.

I have also started watching the prequel series to Battlestar Galactica, Caprica. It's pretty good, all the things that made BSG such a guilty pleasure are there, the tribal soundtrack, cheesy acting, badly intergrated special effects, basic storylines with bluntly moralising messages and hilarious scientific explanations for implausable scenarios. Somehow all these bad individual elements manage to add up to a pretty glossy and addictive TV show. Also, it has naked ladies sacrificing each other in a virtual nightclub. Hot.

here's that chart you don't care about:

1. A Nomad's Retreat by Pantha Du Prince from Black Noise
2. Lay In A Shimmer by Pantha Du Prince from Black Noise
3. Stick to My Side by Pantha Du Prince from Black Noise
4. Atman by Rodrigo y Gabriela from 11:11
5. Xtal by Aphex Twin from Selected Ambient Works 85-92
6. Are You Receiving? by Clint Mansell from Moon OST
7. Skeleton by Bloc Party from Little Thoughts EP
8. Pray for Rain ft. Tunde Adebimpe by Massive Attack from Heligoland
9. Pin by Yeah Yeah Yeahs from A Fever To Tell
10. Downstream by Shira Kammen from Music of Waters

reading week, system shock 2 and moon

So I'm on reading week, and have returned home to seemingly endless boredom. I did actually come back to see a couple of mates and family, but as they are at work all the time, to stop myself from doing anything remotely productive I have downloaded System Shock 2 and it's a fucking stunning game. I first heard of SS2 when Bioshock came out, being its "spiritual successor" but never had any inclination to download it as I rarely play games on my computer, Football Manager aside. Having spent an inordinate amount of time on the internet over the weekend which did nothing but make me fear for the future of the human race, I bit the bullet and thought I would get a game to distract me from the many angry ginger kids who inhabit youtube. Anyway I managed to download and install SS2, pretty easily, got a couple of graphics mods to tune up the textures and character models and hey presto, one of the best games I have played for a long time. Obviously, judging objectively Mass Effect 2 and Assassin's Creed 2 are a lot better but considering this was made 11 years ago you have to let some of the graphical and gameplay issues go. The story so far seems like it is play for play the one told in Bioshock, with elements of Bioshock 2 and a bit of Dead Space thrown in, with obvious differences allowing for the different settings. The voice-acting is incredible, and the soundtrack is really atmospheric and really helps immerse you in a brilliantly nuanced world. The incorporation of RPG elements is also interesting with player customisation being a real important element and is necessary to progress. The game is better in terms of balance than Bioshock, with the emphasis being on survival and ammo conservation, and you will often find yourself wielding the wrench because of a brutal weapon degredation mechanic which is a pretty ham-fisted way of making the player feel vulnerable. This is a nice difference from its "successor" in that by halfway through Bioshock you were up to your eyeballs in plasmids and became a ridiculously overpowered killing machine. SHODAN also has to be one of the greatest video game characters ever created. Anyway, great game, download it, play it, enjoy. Also, it's free!

In other news I finally got around to watching Moon. I enjoyed it but couldn't help feel slightly underwhelmed by a bizarrely corny ending in what otherwise was a well-executed and melancholy film. I could understand if it was a Hollywood studio picture but considering it was made on the preposterously small budget of $5 million by a first time director for a small independent film company the ending was a little jarring. Sam Rockwell was brilliant (but not as good as in The Assassination of Jesse James) and played his (several) roles with a certain genuine melancholy pathos. Also Kevin Spacey was great as GERTY. It is hard to create a science-fiction computer/AI without looking like you are shamelessly ripping off HAL from 2001 but this little machine managed to pull it off by subverting our expectations, appearing emotionless and menacing only to become a genuinely funny and touching character. Of which, I might add, there are none in Kubrick's films. Except maybe Full Metal Jacket... nah fuck it I didn't care when that Viatnamese she-bitch died at the end. Stan didn't like humans. On another note Clint Mansell's excellent score of this film is definitely worth a listen.

Bioshock 2

Bioshock 2 came a few days ago, and I'm a few hours into the story. First impression, unsurprisingly, is that it isn't as good as the first game. The story doesn't seem as original this time around and the ideological undertones of a meaningful story seem to have been submerged beneath a pool of guts eviscerated with your brand new drill arm. Hard to concentrate on politics when you're busy drilling through someone's torso. Still, the combat mechanics seem to have been improved and the dual wielding of plasmids and weapons feels perfect, and is necessary as no.2 is really, really hard (I'm playing on normal). The Big Sister and Rumbler in particular being horribly difficult to defeat, in addition to the gathering sequences when you are beset upon by 20+ splicers over a period of less than a minute. It really makes you think about the best way to take down your enemies with conservation of EVE and first-aid kits, and ammo for the better guns being rare and expensive. I have gotten to a really brutally hard point in the game and I'm considering whacking it down to easy for the rest of this playthrough before attempting hard on a second run. Anyway so far it seems to be a really good game, but not as good as the first. Hopefully it won't follow the first game's lead in having the climax two thirds of the way through and finishing on a shit mutant boss. I could see that happening though.

In other news I started a second ME2 playthrough on insanity difficulty. In mainly involved dying and reloading. I gave up and shall not be returning for a while.

I also finished watching series 3 of Mad Men... damn I want a cigarette....

More me too and charttime

So I finished Mass Effect 2 and having started a second play through this game really grew on me. Although not particularly groundbreaking in any aspect, it does its job very well, and the combat showed itself to be more resilient and intuitive in the hectic later levels than I had expected during the early parts of the game. The choices made at the end of the game really are quite hard to make and I am ashamed to say a couple of times I left the converstion hanging for 10 minutes while I quickly looked up any possible consequences of my terribly important choice on the internets. Also you can continue playing after the quest is over (if you survive) so I may jump into my old career and whore a few achievements before Bioshock 2 comes.

Also, Xbox Live managed to somehow delete my entire friends list (thanks Microsoft) resulting in much annoying controller-typing which took bloody ages to repopulate my barren friends list. I tried playing MW2 again the other day but having not played for several weeks (although the gamercard to the right will say otherwise, this is in fact my flatmate who has racked up a ridiculous 7 days of play time) I found that having sucked before, I now really suck and quickly returned to the non-competitive warmth of ME2.

In other news, Chart:

1. Biscuits by Method Man from Tical
2. Moth by Burial/Four Tet from Moth/Wolf Cub
3. Trans-Atlantic Drawl by Radiohead from Amnesiac: Deluxe Edition
4. Welcome to the Terrordome by Public Enemy from Fear of a Black Planet
5. American Mary by The National from The National
6. J&W Beat by Floating Points from J&W Beat - Single
7. Bridging the Gap ft. Olu Dara by NaS from Street's Disciple
8. Halftime by NaS from Illmatic
9. Cow Cud is a Twin by Aphex Twin from I Care Because You Do
10. Angel Echoes by Four Tet from There Is Love in You

Mass Effect 2 or someshit

So ME2 came last friday, and it's pretty good. First of all, I just want to mention the ridiculous extent Bioware and EA have gone to to try to stop people buying this game second hand, through the Cerberus network add on, which comes free with each new copy. If you buy the game preowned, however, and the key to join the network has been used, you have to shell out a preposterous 1200 microsoft points (roughly £10) to get access to the DLC already available through the Cerberus network. To penalise people for pirating games is one thing, but preowned games are perfectly legal and the majority of games that I buy are preowned, due to me being poor/tight. This game sets a dangerous precedent and I'm not entirely comfortable with supporting a company who feels it is necessary to manipulate consumers in this way. It's like Bioware and EA are becoming the Ryanair of video games.

Anyway the game itself is perfectly fine. Much was made of the combat beforehand but to be honest if it was just a 3rd person shooter you would say it was mediocre. It's still enjoyable but for me the interesting parts are still what made the first game so good - exploration, dialogue, art design, sound and story. A lot of bugs and inconsistencies evident in the first game have been ironed out and the game runs a lot more smoothly having been split onto 2 discs and gone are those terrible lift loading sequences. There are stairs everywhere! Hallelujah. I imported my character from ME1 and despite the announcement that your actions in the first game would make a difference in ME2 so far I am yet to see any direct influence except for the odd e-mail (yes e-mail) sent to me by randomers I apparently helped in the original. Anyway, 15 hours in, it's been an engaging and fun game. Not as good as ACII though, and I suspect it will drop out of my disc tray for a while when Bioshock 2 comes next week. Still, a good game, although it is just the same Bioware RPG in a different skin all over again. Not that is bad in any way. Just a bit hard to get excited about it. I think I've figured out the plot twists already. The most unexpected thing so far was finding out that character who looks and sounds suspiciously like Martin Sheen IS actually voiced by Martin Sheen. Yeah. Slim pickins.

In other news I finished watching the second series of Mad Men and I have officially decided that it is as good as the wire. I started watching the 3rd series on iPlayer but couldn't bear to continue watching it in low quality on NinjaVideo, so I am currently torrenting a ridiculous 15GB in 720p. Estimate is 3 more days. I can't watch TV shows once a week anymore, having become accustomed to the DVD binge over the last few years.

No, I didn't watch Skins. It's fucking terrible. Any show where a writer will even consider the preposterous idea of a teacher farting into a megaphone to quieten a rowdy school assembly CANNOT be good.

Four Tet's new album is really good, I am actually going to buy it next time I'm near a reputable music-selling establishment, and I recommend you give a try as well. This song is pretty awesome (not on the album by the way).

Thursday Chart on thursday which makes sense

1. Love Cry by Four Tet from There Is Love In You

2. Are You Talking To Me? by Christoph de Babalon

3. Oh Yeah by Can from Tago Mago

4. Life in a Glass House by Radiohead from Amnesiac

5. Plastic People by Four Tet from There Is Love In You

6. Hope There's Someone by Antony & The Johnson's from I Am a Bird Now

7. Too Long xx Steam Machine by Daft Punk from Alive 2007

8. Moanin' by Charles Mingus from Blues & Roots

9. Definition by Black Star from Black Star

10. Distant Lights by Burial from Burial

Army of Two: the 40th Day and some other uninteresting stuff

So Lovefilm actually got around to delivering another game after several weeks, unfotunately this game was that mentioned in the title. It's not a bad game, but I would have much preferred any of the other 9 games on my list that were actualy high priority, other than one of the ones that I just casually threw in on low priority to make up the numbers. Anyway, it's kinda fun, sort of like Gears of War (except on Earth and less racist) with a weapon customization aspect. It's always good blowing away random henchmen with a Zebra-stripe adorned AK-47, and being designed for co-op play it's pretty fun with a friend, although the AI exhibited in my brief 10 minute solo foray resulted in a lot of angry muttering on my part. The aggro system is pretty novel as well, meaning that if you have a jewel encrusted rocket launcher, the baddies will try to take you down while your buddy flanks the enemy and shoots them in the back. It's a decent addition, but a little gimmicky.

In other news, I entered the bizarre netherworld of being sober around drunk people last night. It wasn't particularly enjoyable. My flatmates returned home after a trip to the casino, Smirnoff in hand, and proceeded to get drunk(er) whilst I attempted to be a boring sod and watch the tennis. It didn't work, and I ended up being talked at for several hours until I could safely slink away to bed, wincing at every spilt drop of vodka on my lovingly cleaned table, every trip over the phone cable. For some reason we watched Superbad. I find these Judd Apatow comedies very hit and miss - mostly miss. This is one of the better ones, it is funny but not really in the bits that everyone else thinks it is. I can only hear the phrase 'pube salad' once or twice before it loses its charm and just becomes insanely creepy. Still, it is a decent film and watched every 12 months will make me chuckle. Michael Cera is funny in it, although I think in the last couple of years he has exhibited the extent of his acting talents, being vaguely funny in Superbad, irritating in Juno, just plain ? in his misjudged internet comedy with Clark Duke, and just shit in Year One. It's all gone a bit downhill after Arrested Development. Jonah Hill on the other hand seems to be genuinely funny although sometimes it just seems he's put in films because he's friends with the people who made it. The Invention of Lying was terrible and so was he in it, but he did provide a couple of giggles in the rancid dingleberry of a film that was Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and he was okay in the okay Funny People, despite the infintely punchable Adam Sandler occupying the lead role.

Music has been a little boring recently, with no particularly interesting discoveries for well over a month now. Hopefully the new Four Tet album (which comes out tomorrow) will help to alleviate this.

I've been awake for 3 hours, and I'm tired already.

All good things of this Earth flow into the city: Bioshock 2 and Mass Effect 2

So I've pre-ordered the two games mentioned above, probably my two mose anticipated releases of 2010, and all within the first 2 months of the year. Gave my wallet a bit of a battering but I'm sure they will be worth it, their debut titles being a couple of my favourite games for my 360. Bioware have made a few brilliant games in the past, KOTOR, Jade Empire and Baldur's Gate being past favourites (yet to play Dragon Age but might give it a go once I've got through my current inundation of games) and the original Mass Effect continued this. Despite having numerous flaws, the odd interfaces, freaky uncanny-valley character models and clunky teammate AI and direction, it was a brilliant game. I loved the storyline, environments, visual style, voice acting and Bladerunner-esque soundscape. Might have to give it another whirl over the next week to get back in that universe before the sequel's release.

And Bioshock. Probably my favourite single player experience of this generation, if the intensity of the first half of the game had been sustained throughout it probably would be a contender for my favourite game ever. Just the premise is brilliant: you're in an underwater city with superpowers! Cool. Not to mention the interesting art-deco design, incredible voice and sound effects, a fantastic story and a fucking terrifying atmosphere. Also, the Big Daddy is definitely up there in terms of best video game villain (well, kind of, the fact being that you choose to attack them being part of the interesting nature of the game), their moans still send shivers down my spine on my 3rd or 4th playthrough. The Ayn Rand inspired society also brought in some interesting ideas, which, when compared to most games, was refreshing. Although in the end it did degenarate into relying on a silly twist and a terrible boss fight. Oh well.

Thom Yorke co-hosted a show on BBC Radio 1 (usually shit, granted) yesterday with Gilles Peterson, it was a damn good playlist, and it can be found here.

Song.

Avatar 3D Imax, more Assassin's Creed 2, Portal and Half-Life.

So, as the title suggests, last night I saw Avatar 3D at the Imax. It was the second time I've seen the film (the first time being regular 3D) and it was still pretty enjoyable. Clichéd plot, bad writing, lots of sentimental guff but enjoyable. I don't get 3D though. I really just don't find it that impressive. Just seems like a marketing gimmick that cinemas are using to get the maximum amount of money possible from the punters. Don't particularly like the colour loss with the glasses on either. Would like to see this film in regular flat screen just to see if it's any different. I suspect it wouldn't be. Anyway, I'm sure Dances With Smurfahontas: ODST will clear up at the Oscars this year.

Over the last few days I've managed to complete ACII as well. Thoroughly enjoyed it. The plot went awry at the end and became slightly too silly for my liking in retrospect, but I let myself go and it was pretty dang cool. Also unlocking the glyphs was an excellent little mini-game and was probably my favourite new addition. Nice little unlock as well if you get all of them. Got a ridiculous amount of gamer points as well (I hate myself for caring) pretty much for just playing through the story. Not too chuffed about the missing 2 DNA sequences which are clearly going to be priced DLC and should have been included with the main game. Oh well. I will inevitably buy them though. Just like I did with all the rip-off Halo map packs and Fallout DLC. I'm a sucker.

After this I moved onto Portal. I bought the Orange Box a couple of months back and played Portal for about 20 minutes and thought it was incredible. Then I went home and couldn't play games for a month or so, so it was nice to sink my teeth back into this game, and, proudly, I managed to finish it in a measly 3 hours all on my own. Gonna get really stuck into HL2 again today, the original Half-Life being one of my seminal gaming moments having played it for the first time when I was 12 or so (which, again, is vaguely disturbing. Why did my parents let me play this? I used to play Unreal Tournament too! You could frickin' explode people's heads!) on the PC, showcasing just what a FPS with a fantastic story could do. This was kind of different to my other FPS enlightening in Halo: CE which had fantastic gameplay, but, let's face it, had a story that seemed like it was written on the bus by Russell T. Davies on a tissue that he subsequently had to use to blow his nose. I still have no idea what happened, nor do I care. The gameplay was so good that it didn't matter. Half-Life had lesser gameplay (still good) but such a great plot and fantastic characters that it really demonstrated what gaming could do, to me at least.

...That's all.

Thursday chart (in the Julian calendar, I'm old school like that)

If you still don't get this you never will... I like these songs at the moment:

1. Brother Sport by Animal Collective from Merryweather Post Pavilion
2. I Get My Thang In Action by Method Man from Tical
3. Edgar by Modeselektor from Happy Birthday!
4. Angel by Massive Attack from Mezzanine
5. Napalm Brain/Scatter Brain by DJ Shadow from Endtroducing...
6. Re-Hash by Gorillaz from Gorillaz
7. Massage Situation by Flying Lotus from Reset EP
8. N.Y. State of Mind by Nas from Illmatic
9. Plug Tunin (Last Chance to Comprehend) by De La Soul from 3 Feet High and Rising
10. Looking For Astronauts by The National from Alligator

Day of the Triffids, Assassin's Creed 2, and freedom

After a pretty horrible week I'm finally done with my essays. 17000 words in the end. I'm in the second fucking year. I wish I went to a shitter uni. Not that King's isn't shit. It just thinks it's good, for reasons which have yet to make themselves known to me.

Anyway with my new found freedom (ie, the last 12 hours) I've managed to pack in some hefty gaming time, sinking some serious time into Assassin's Creed 2. Was slow to start up but it seems to be pretty much everything that was good about the first with the bad stuff taken out, and more added. I'm actually finding the story quite interesting this time around too which is a surprise considering in the first I just wanted to slit my wrists every time they banged on about some bullshit to do with pieces of blah blah blah let me shank people. Also managed to get angry at FIFA by getting beaten pretty badly several times online, none of which was my fault, it was my players, they didn't do what I told them to the bunch of gays. Sorry, Xbox Live does terrible things to me. I still have a few copies of Edge to read through having built up a stack from November, so might catch up on that over the weekend, as well as a few old-ish titles I picked up in the sales before and after Xmas. Managed to get Grid, Far Cry 2, The Orange Box and a couple of other games all for under a fiver so they will probably be played for 5 minutes or so before I return to AC2 after realising the achievements are too hard.

I also found the time to finish watching the latest adaptation of the Day of the Triffids, which is one of my favourite books (I kind of have a thing for post-apocalyptia). Needless to say, being as it was made by the BBC, it was pretty shit, yet strangely enjoyable. The most entertaining thing about it was watching Joely Richardson's pathetic attempts to actually show any form of human emotion on her ridiculously wooden face, which usually amounted to a strange tick in her eyelids. So that's what Vanessa Redgrave's daughter's acting skills amount to: blinking erratically. The lead bloke was also hilariously awful but Eddie Izzard was actually pretty menacing and kinda managed to rescue the whole thing from looking like 101 Dalmatians gone horribly wrong. It even did that stupid voiceover flashback thing that is in my opinion just a fucking insult to the viewer (we don't NEED you to tell us AGAIN, we saw it the FIRST time, we KNOW what is happening, GET ON WITH IT). The writing was clunky, the triffids were ridiculous (granted it is hard to make walking plants not look stupid), and the acting was bad, but it is a classic story and as soon as I realised it was shit I just stopped thinking and enjoyed it. It could have been so much better though.

Nice little version of an awesome song here.

Oh and FlyLo. Yeah. We all love Donuts.

My bed is calling me.

Thursday chart (on wednesday) for yet more snow (puck you, snow)

Again, should probably use your ears for these:

1. Bbydhyonchord by Aphex Twin from drukqs

2. Left Hand by Gorillaz from G Sides

3. Groovin' by Willie Mitchell from Solid Soul/On Top

4. Brooklyn Zoo by Ol' Dirty Bastard from Return to 36 Chambers

5. Accordion by Madvillain from Madvillainy

6. Avril 14th by Aphex Twin from drukqs

7. Dirtbox by Harmonic 313 from When Machines Exceed Human Intelligence

8. Meth vs Chef ft. Raekwon by Method Man from Tical

9. Bangers + Mash by Radiohead from In Rainbows Disk 2

10. Sophisticated Bitch by Public Enemy from Yo! Bum Rush the Show

Willie Mitchell died last week. He was awesome. Without him we wouldn't have had this sample, for one thing. For another... check out that 'stash. Possibly the sleaziest facial hair ever. Apart from Phil Brown's (or, as I like to call him, Phil Brent) of course.

I'm tired.

A Serious Man

So for the past week I've been sat in front of my laptop desperately trying to hammer out enough coherent prose to submit for my deadlines next week. I've done around 8000 words but it ain't enough. Nope. 6000 to go.

Anyway this evening I actually managed to have a little break and watched 'Oh Brother Where Art Thou?' I'm not one of these Coen Brothers fanboys but I do like a couple of their previous films and I've been meaning to watch this for while. Anyway, the film was decent enough, pretty entertaining, made me chuckle a couple times and had a brilliant soundtrack. Managed to be funny without being irritating, as in 'The Big Lebowski' and 'Burn After Reading', both of which, although admittedly funny, were the worst thing anything on earth can possibly be: quirky. God I hate quirkiness. I can just about put up with Juno but 500 Days of Summer made me sick.

Anyway watching this film reminded me of a movie I saw a few weeks ago, another Coen Bros film, 'A Serious Man'. Now, I actually think this film is a masterpiece. It was intriguing, funny, dark, foreboding, had great performances, a great soundtrack and that guy from Curb Your Enthusiasm... aww you know the one... Larry's cousin... the really annoying one... Anyway he plays a guy with a cyst that he has to drain everyday on his neck. Need I say more.

Oh and this is on the soundtrack

I'm off to listen to my washing machine. I suggest you do the same.

Gnight.

thursday chart for essays + snow

the words roll across the screen I close my eyes but they won't go away
best played through speakers or headphones so your ears can hear them:

1. taking control by aphex twin from drukqs
2. nude (radiohead cover) by vitamin string quartet from in rainbows.
3. downstream by shira kammen from music of waters
4. butter by a tribe called quest from the low end theory
5. henry plainview by jonny greenwood from there will be blood ost
6. das modell by kraftwerk from die mensch-maschine
7. you'll find a way by santigold from santogold
8. noctuary by bonobo from dial 'M' for monkey
9. kinetic by radiohead from pyramid song pt2 ep
10. surf solar by fuck buttons from tarot sport

i have a terrible feeling i really ought to be somewhere else...

Games of the decade/2009

Ah yes, the noughties. Weren't they great for gaming? Well they were for me cos I was a kid/teenager for most of it so had nothing better to do. I started the decade with a Gameboy Colour, a PSX, N64 and a Sega Megadrive (which looking back on is vaguely disturbing considering I've been playing Mortal Kombat since the age of about 8) and I end it with an Xbox 360, by way of the Xbox, Gamecube and PS2. A brilliant decade for gaming, in my opinion.

2009, though, was a bit shit. There were a couple of sparkling releases but a couple of titles I was really looking forward to were delayed from a Q4 release due to the inevitable exodus caused by the massive spectre of Modern Warfare 2. Although a brilliant game, I would have preferred to wait for it than for say, Bioshock 2, Bayonetta and Mass Effect 2, although the next couple of months are gonna be awesome because of these titles. Thank god for those generous aged grandparents with more money than sense.

Anyway, top 10 of 2009:

1. Batman: Arkham Asylum (Rocksteady/Eidos)

Was sceptical at first but the demo convinced me to buy. Having slightly lower expectations, this game gradually grew and grew on me. The mechanics are intuitive, the combat was surprisingly simple yet deep, and the graphics were pretty pretty pretty good. But the standout element for me was the manner in which I was drawn into the gameworld, similar to playing Bioshock or Dead Space. Plus, you get to be Batman, which was just fucking cool.

2. Modern Warfare 2 (Infinity Ward/Activision)

I too had no massive expectations for this, sure I expected something good but I was surprised at the thoughtful nature of the changes from the first installment. Lack of co-op was a massive flaw of the original, and the Spec Ops included here was a great addition. The storyline, while at times descending into sub-James Bond territory hooked me in (the apocalyptic thing gets me every time), despite being short and a little easy, even on veteran. Although I'm more of a Halo kinda guy when it comes to multiplayer, the depth offered here is incredible, and it's a hell of a lot of fun. A brilliant package of a game.

3. Fifa 10 (EA)
I was PES until 2009 but it will be hard for Konami to top this anytime soon without a huge overhaul. I really enjoyed FIFA09 too but there was something slightly off about it. As my friend said to me once, it was a bit 'blergh'. In 10 though the action feels smooth and intuitive (despite occasional slowdown online, but that's not a huge problem), the new Be a Pro took up hours of my time and it all feels perfectly natural and organic. EA have created a brilliant physics engine, and the football just happens. In PES you can always feel the machinery grinding away in the background, and it feels sluggish and contrived next to FIFA10.

(I can't be bothered to say anything about the rest)

4. Halo 3: ODST
5. Left4Dead2
6. Prototype
7. Halo Wars
8. Assassin's Creed 2
9. Resident Evil 5
10. The Chronicles Of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena/Escape from Butcher Bay

Top 10 of the decade:

1. Final Fantasy IX
2. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2
3. Halo: Combat Evolved
4. Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
5. Fallout 3
6. Bioshock
7. Smash Bros Melee
8. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
9. Braid
10. Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory